My Name is Jason W., and I’m a Taj Mahalic

Dinner commenced promptly at 7:30 at the Taj Mahal restaurant located in the neighborhood of Waldo (for those curious readers, Taj Mahal is conveniently located adjacent to Lew’s Place and Aldi’s in the Waldo Shopping Center, classy). In addition to the founding members, the FBDSKA was proud to welcome junior members Sarah Moore and David Gilbertson to partake in the evening’s festivities.

Mastication began as the thin yellow and black things came with their accompaniment of assorted goo. At first snuff, the thin yellow and black things seemed to be on the level, but further tasting would prove otherwise as the once delicious “crackers” deteriorated into an aftertaste similar to dirt and old lady farts.

So dinner was off to a bad start, but could the arrangements of goo help get the dining car get back on track? The answer was yes. However, were you to ask me to name the goos and what was in them, I would be at a loss. I can relay this piece of information though: the orange goo was fantastic. The green goo was memorable. The red goo wasn’t without its charm.

To get the ball rolling Kim ordered an appetizer for the table. We decided a combo would be the best way to sample many delicious Indian treats, so an order was placed for the Vegetable – Non Vegetable combo platter. No joke, that was the name. The only thing we knew for sure was we may or may not be getting vegetables.

The appetizer arrived, and after several attempts of the waiter trying to mumble what was what, we dug in. My favorite was the non-vegetable. It’s just so hard to find a decent non-vegetable at an Indian restaurant these days. Not that the vegetable was bad, but the non-vegetable was clearly the king of the Vegetable – Non Vegetable combo platter. Also noteworthy was the white sauce that you could smother your vegetable or non-vegetable in.

After several mumbled pleas from an overzealous waiter begging us to order, the FBDSKCA finally had their entrées locked and loaded and lively banter followed as we all waited in anticipation for our Indian fare to arrive. Topics of conversation ranged from recreational drug use to float trips to mountain climbing. Pretty standard. As dishes began filling our table we all agreed that family style was clearly the best way to enjoy the abundance of food.

I’d like to take this opportunity to quickly recap each member’s entrée (bare with me on spelling):

Kim: Aloo Gohbi – Cauliflower and other assorted non-meat products. Yeah, I know, but she runs marathons.

Dave: Admittedly, Dave is a huge Goat Curry fan. But he decided to change it up a bit and went with Goat Biyahri, complete with hooves and bone matter.

Sarah: Chicken Saag. Boring. I do have to admit that this was my favorite dish. However, if I made it at home I’d call it shredded chicken with brown gravy. I don’t know why Indian’s feel the need to complicate things.

Matt: Chicken 65, cuz Shaw can’t drive 55 (get it?). I couldn’t tell you what was in it, but I’m not 100% convinced chicken made the final cut.

Caitlin: Lamb Tiki Massala - A traditional Indian dish consisting of meat and slop. It was delicious.

Jason: Lamb Vindiloo. I mainly got this because it had an illustration of boobs next to the name. I later found out that boobs signify spicy. Interestingly enough, Lamb Vindiloo translates to Meat with Ragu sauce in English.

The ambience was a little sub par, but that’s to be expected when dining at a strip mall restaurant. It was very casual to say the least, and our private dining room did offer some intimacy. Would I take a first date there? No. Would I take my overweight wife that’s well past her prime there? Certainly.

I can’t complain about a lack of attention from the servers, but when you’re the only diners in a restaurant you better get some decent service. “No, I don’t really need a fifth Diet Coke, but what the hell.” “No, Caitlin does not want another beer, but thanks for asking.” “Sir, you don’t need to fill my water every time I take a sip, but I appreciate your enthusiasm.” “Not yet, we’ll let you know when we’re ready to order.”

So what’s the verdict? Despite Kim’s best efforts to sabotage the inaugural meeting of the Fancy Britches Dining Society by nominating three Indian restaurants - a ballsy move to say the least - all in attendance would agree that dinner was a great success (my toilet may offer a dissenting opinion, but it was totally worth it). For some it was their first endeavor into the world of Indian food. I can safely say nobody hated it, but experienced Indian food enthusiasts can recall better meals.