The Fancy Britches Dining Society convened at Blue Koi for their second meeting, a dumpling house situated in the eclectic 39th Street District in Westport; a location commonly frequented by hipsters, bums, filthy hippies and bleeding heart liberals alike. Close enough to Kansas to give anyone the creeps, but still in Missouri, so booze at gas stations is still in play. In order to keep the debauchery and mayhem to a minimum, only founding members attended the event.
Caitlin and I arrived first, and in a momentary lapse of judgment, Caitlin requested a table for three when there are clearly four members. After ordering drinks and convincing ourselves that four people could fit at a table equipped to handle three people max, Matt and Kim (the remaining members of our dinner club, not to be confused with the kick-ass indie band by the same name) arrived and we were forced to move to a different waiter’s table in another section, thereby pissing off our original waitress. So far, off to a bad start.
Dinner began with an assortment of appetizers. As not to offend the proprietors of the restaurant we order pork and seafood dumplings, which is customary at a dumpling house. To accompany said dumplings we also settled on the crispy tofu with awesome sauce and a fried vegetable medley with an accompaniment of dipping sauces.
True to form, the dumplings were incredible. Delicious little pan-fried morsels stuffed with bits of meaty goodness and overflowing with herbs and spices. And, once they’re smothered in the delectable hoisen sauce, let me tell you brother, you’re in dumpling heaven. The surprise of the evening was the crispy tofu and the aptly named awesome sauce. I can’t take credit for naming the sauce awesome, but had it been my task I probably wound have landed on the same adjective-focused nomenclature. Not to discount the fried veggies, as they were great as well, but they paled in comparison to the amazingness that was the dumplings.
As is standard operating procedure, all Fancy Britches members are required to order a different dish for their main course. I’ve taken the liberty of breaking down the entrees by member, you’re welcome:
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Matt: Of course Shaw got the Chinese Style Pot Roast. Before he even arrived at the restaurant I predicted this would be the case. Shaw always reverts to old habits, and with no stew on the menu, his palette craved the familiarity of slow cooked hunks of beef adorned with vegetables simmered in meaty juices atop of a bed of egg noodles. All kidding aside, this dish rawked despite the fact that at least one elf was killed in the making of this dish (inside joke, don’t ask).
Kim: Kim ordered the Braised Tofu with Shitake Mushrooms. I instantly felt bad for her for obviously missing the Braised Pork with Shitake Mushrooms listed right above the tofu. She had been too hasty in her decision and as a result had mistakenly ordered a meatless dish. It arrived, and to my amazement it wasn’t that bad. Sure, the pork would have been appreciated, but the rich sauce and beautifully cooked mushrooms more than made up for the lack of animal flesh.
Caitlin: Per the waiter’s recommendation, Caitlin ordered the Chicken with Black Bean Sauce. This was by far my favorite dish. To quote Willy Wonka, and I’m paraphrasing here, “It was scrumdiddlyumpcious.” The chicken and the peppers coupled with the noodles and black been sauce combined to make a near perfect plate.
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Jason: I went a little outside the box and ordered the Cantonese Roast Duck. Let this be a lesson kids, never try anything new and stick to what you know. It honestly tasted like someone threw up in my bowl and tried to cover up the smell with Febreze. The 13 spices must have congealed into a paste with the consistency and taste of fresh poo. And I’m not just being critical, that was the consensus table-wide. Good thing we share or I would have been really disappointed.
Overall I’d have to give Blue Koi high marks. The waiter was courteous and helpful even if he was higher than a KU grad at a Phish concert in Boulder, CO. My drink was never empty and his knowledge of the menu proved rather beneficial. The décor was a bit lacking, but when the food more than makes up for it I’m willing to let it slide. The prices were very reasonable and the intimate setting would be a great place to take a first date you don’t really care about. I’ll be back again Blue Koi, but this time I’m staying the hell away from the duck.
